Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Emperor Clifford I

We live now with so much government be it national or local that no-one has any idea who is in charge, my town has a population of just about 205,000 and yet we have 2 MP’s, why is anyone’s guess, if we are skint and need to cut cost there is a job that can go, surely 1 town can cope with just 1 MP?

So, here we go, I propose we create a single unit to run the country, we abolish all local government and appoint one person to run the country, we abolish the House of Lords and all parliament, we in effect appoint an emperor

When we had a monarchy that had real power the country did very well, excluding starvation and disease of course, yet now we are slowly falling behind the rest of the world due to our need to legislate. If the Tiger economies can rule billions of people with next to no dissent from the masses, our new emperor should be able to handle 60 million.

So, where do we find this new leader, well I think it needs to be someone not scared to make decisions, able to remove themselves from the consequences of there decisions,have fabulous long flowing hair and be dashingly handsome, if I may be so bold I suggest that new emperor be me.

Wait, what makes me think I can run a country, well lets see, I would make the army the best well equipped in the world, I would make the managers of hospitals directly responsible so if someone dies of neglect or because of dirty wards they go to jail, I would throw out any sponging parasites back to where they came from.
All hardworking people would be safe as the top end policemen of all districts would be made electable, so if your being terrorised by vacant youths and the police do nothing, then you vote them out and get someone in who will give the scumbags a good thrashing.
On crime, I would make the victim or victims family able to set the punishment for the guilty, so if you’re a bleeding heart liberal you can let the scumbag who mugged you go with a nice warning and some community service, but if you want him put in stocks and battered about a bit then that’s good too, does anyone really think if the recent rioters had known a day in the stocks was the punishment they would have been so quick to steal some trainers?

Victorian, right wing all this may be but it would work, we allow council offices to be filled with career carers who pass files around and allow there cases to die yet never visit the person its about, they profess to be swamped with paperwork, well if the child dies the social worker goes to jail. Bet they suddenly get up and get on with it then,

The compensation culture that’s crippling any public service would be removed, if you have an accident then its just that an accident, get up get on and stop whining, if someone wrongs you then they go to prison, no one needs to give you money.

Sure there are going to be teething problems, where will the money come from etc, well when we have a functioning utopia, zero crime, good health, pensioners respected and cared for, money will not be an issue, companies and individuals will flock to be part of this, suddenly Britain will once again be the hub of the empire.

So, in conclusion make me emperor, give me 5 years, if nothing improves I will gladly stand down, as by then I would have embezzled so much money I will want to naff off to a nice island in the Caribbean, and be surrounded by floozies and flunkies, and I bet you in 5 years I will get more done than any leader in the history of the UK, Churchill, will be a distant memory next to my achievements,let my Dynasty begin!

thanks Poo's for the edit

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